he said 'Farewell'

One day, out of the blue, my father received a postcard, it was more than ten years ago. It was printed, and it said that the sender had not long to live, and 'Farewell!' He showed it to me as if he didn't know what to do with it. Or perhaps he thought that I, with my penmanship, would take some action on his behalf. But at that time I was inexperienced in death, and I could not imagine what kind of determination he had to send it. A little later, we received the news of his death. I wish we could have sent our thoughts to his family.

Several years later, my mother suddenly passed away. What I felt soon after that day, was as if I had wandered into a different world. On the other side of the glass wall, where I used to be, the sun still rises and life goes on as usual. I don't know if that's any consolation, because everyone feels differently, but it reminds me sometimes that I wish we could have told him and his family that we were there in the distant sky, heartbroken by his struggle and saddened by his death.

I read somewhere that when a foreigner working in Japan reported the death of a family member by email, most of his Japanese acquaintances never mentioned it. I can imagine. That's what happened to me. It's not common for my generation in our 30s to lose our mothers, so maybe most of my friends didn't know how to talk to me about it and it seemed not only my friends, but people of all generations involved didn't want to say anything rash and make us feel even worse. This is probably the reason why Japanese stationery shops do not have a large selection of condolence cards!

What is your reaction to the death of someone? Or is it some kind of taboo in your culture to talk about things related to death that you would like to avoid? I'd love to hear from you.